Change

I don't do change! Not well anymore. I never used to blink at major life changes. I would have never survived my childhood if I did. I have had many childhood houses, two step-dads, several foster homes, and plenty of boyfriends. I went to no less than 4 grade schools, and 3 high schools.

I would love to say this changed with James but alas it did not. It changed with Brenda. She never gave up. She showed up at my house on a regular occasion to invite me to activities. She made me a regular babysitter for her kiddos. She never let me go. She never gave up on me. She has been the one person who has remained constant in my life since I was 15. So almost but not quite 20 years. She made me realize that I hated change. LOL!! She helped make me who I am today. Without her I think I might have been able to pull it off but not as soon or as well as I did.

Now I can say growing up I did not see myself married to just one man the rest of my life. Dude I didn't even see myself getting married. LOL! I didn't think I was worthy of that. Again Brenda helped me see the light. And when James walked into my life there was no longer a question.

So now I really hate change! I refuse to change my sheets unless James is home. Weird I know! But if I change them and he is gone then he will get hurt or worse. Don't ask me where I got that but I have always been that way with him. I think it because when he is not home I sleep on his pillow and I love to smell him.

I like to change thing up a bit now and than but for the most part I like my rooms set up the same way. We have unofficially assigned places at the dinner table. Every mourning I start my day by doing the dishes. And I end it by sleeping on Jamie's pillow!

my friends need to update their blogs!!

Yes Liz we know Brad is a great dad. But come on tell me something new!! :)

And Levi is 13 now....okay not really but.....what about Allie's b-day? Tell me more I need a pic of those cute cherry flip-flops!

Any who update!!!! Love ya!

Dinner Out Side!!!

Our first picnic dinner

On Tuesday night we had our first oicinic dinner of the year. The kids were pretty happy. Connor and Cody wouldn't sit still, but hey it was fun.

Cody and Elizabeth being cheesy for the camera!

Tyler and Connor are too cute togeather!

Silent Movies

Connor is in the blue jammies. Cody is in the light green. They are being pirates and just plain goofy!! Too cute!

Puddle Jumpers

One day in the last week of March we has some awesome weather and some awesome left over puddles. The lil' boys had a blast. Tyler showed them how to throw rocks into the water and make big splashes. Cody sat his tiny hinney in the water and got a muddy bum but he didn't seem to notice. Tyler and Elizabeth had a blast riding their scooters up and down the street.

It was so nice to be out in the sunshine. Up here you never know when that will happen. LOL!!

What I have learned lately.

As a wife: If I just voice my honey do list it will get done. Seriously men are not mind readers. In fact they try really hard to ignore all cues that even remotely hint and honey dos. However if your 2 year old lifts up you shirt so his toy can hide they take that as a "Hey baby do ya wanna" moment. AHHH! Gotta love 'em!

As a lover: Hey if I learned something new there well...............It just ain't none of your business!!

As a friend: Just let it go. Really sometimes you just have to smile and nod. Turn off your ears and just act like your listening. Because even when you love and "get" that person they are going to cross that line of thinking they know it all and well really from your view they are clueless. But you love them anyways and would probably die without them so you grin and bare it. And really in the next five minuets they will prove they know more than you about something important, right?

As a mother: Sometimes sitting on the kitchen floor (dirt, crumbs and all) playing blocks with your babies is more important than dinner and dad's lunch.

As a sister: I need to call my sister!!

As a daughter: Well as some of you know I really have no relationship with my mother at the moment, but I have learned that I am not sure I have forgiven her. Honestly I am not sure when I will be able to. I think I have but if it still hurts, and I still think about how rotten she was/is to me then have I forgiven her? And as for my father......I thought I had gotten past that but the idea that he might have been out of prison made me wonder? Do I need to forget in order to forgive? How do I forgive them?

This Blogs Purpose

This blog was originally intended for me to journal about whatever I had learned that day. So far I do more picture posting for my out of town friends. LOL!! So now that I have no pictures on my computer that need to be posted I can write about me!! (Don't worry I have pics on my camera that need to be downloaded!)